Rethinking Recognition, Why People Don’t Want Pizza Parties
Generic rewards don’t make people feel seen. Real recognition is about specificity, relevance, and dignity, not gift cards and pizza.
We’ve all experienced it: the well-meaning team lunch after a grueling quarter. The $10 gift card for solving a $100,000 problem. The Slack emoji storm that disappears by Friday.
Recognition programs are everywhere, but most of them miss the mark.
Because what people actually crave isn’t public praise or prizes. It’s to be understood.
They want their effort, their thinking, and their values to be seen, not just their output.
Where Recognition Goes Wrong
It’s overly generic.
“Great job!” doesn’t tell people what mattered. It feels lazy and forgettable.
It’s divorced from real impact.
Recognition is given for participation, not contribution. People feel like boxes are being checked.
It’s performative, not personal.
Mass emails and trophies look good in reports but don’t land emotionally with the people who did the work.
It’s too inconsistent to be meaningful.
When recognition depends on mood, memory, or visibility, it reinforces bias and resentment.
It ignores how different people feel appreciated.
Not everyone wants the spotlight. Some want autonomy, others want growth opportunities, some want time.
What People Actually Want Instead
Specificity.
“I noticed how you slowed the meeting down to make space for that quieter voice, it changed the dynamic.”
Timeliness.
Recognition should be close to the moment of impact, not stockpiled for a quarterly recap.
Relevance.
Tie it back to the team’s mission, the person’s growth, or the values you claim to care about.
Choice.
Let people indicate how they prefer to be recognized: privately, publicly, materially, relationally.
Equity.
Build systems that track patterns: Who gets seen? Who gets missed? Who always gets credit for collaborative wins?
Integration.
Make recognition part of your workflows: embedded in 1:1s, retros, daily stand-ups, or project closes.
Reframing Recognition as a Culture Signal
Recognition is more than a feel-good tactic. It tells people what the organization notices.
When it’s inconsistent, shallow, or misaligned, it signals that real contributions might not matter unless they’re loud or flashy.
When it’s thoughtful and human? It builds trust, clarity, and belonging.
So let’s retire the pizza parties and start practicing real recognition:
Rooted in specificity
Aligned with values
Centered on people
Because when people feel seen for who they are, not just what they do, they tend to stay. And lead. And grow.
